1099 Couple Stress

A high percentage of individuals with ADHD are entrepreneurs, which may not come as a surprise. This can be a natural fit for a number of reasons, both positive and less so: a high degree of non-linear thinking, a low tolerance for boredom, and challenges with the minutiae of corporate jobs immediately come to mind. This can be an excellent choice for a person who doesn't feel a good fit with other employment options. It can also be fraught with peril and stress, with not much of a safety net for errors and inevitable downturns.

In my work both with couples and neurodivergent individuals, and especially where these lanes intersect, there is often what I call 1099 Stress. The challenges of maintaining boundaries between home and work, enabling trust that it will all get done, and the emotional toll of being sleep deprived and trying to do it all can have a huge impact on relationships. This is especially true in fairly successful, early stage, growing businesses, where there is no manual, but there really should be. The business is right on the bubble of being so busy that you need to hire, but not quite busy enough to comfortably justify the cost. It can be a lot.

Similarly, entrepreneurs tend to become serial entrepreneurs. Which is just the nature of things, to a certain extent, but which can also add stress and even resentment to the relationship. Does one partner always have to have the "real job", when maybe they would like for it to be their turn to try something? Does one partner not feel heard and understood about the pressures of getting it all right? Are there very real, tangible financial and time implications?

These are challenges that many people face, and they can be managed. Be on the lookout for a 1099 Couples Group in January, as well as for some additional recommendations for books and resources, such as this excellent guide by Melissa Orlov https://amzn.to/3ARIdXb