ADHD, Emotions, and Relationships
Earlier, I mentioned a metaphor of tuning into a radio with a dial and experiencing static. So what's that all about?
It's about a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts executive function, which tends to lead to enormous emotional reactions to relatively minor issues. This tends to start early in life, and has a way of snowballing into difficult relationships. It's about repeatedly misunderstanding the assignment. It's about making the same mistakes over and over again because it all looks the same. It's about impulsive, often risky or myopic behavior. It's about reading.the.same.paragraph.over.and.over.again.every.time. All too often, it's also about unpaid bills, performance plans, terminations, traffic tickets, and substance abuse.
Where I see the impact of this disorder is in people's emotional lives. There can be a lot of collateral damage along the way; missed opportunities for connection, broken promises, repeated mistakes or omissions. The fallout from the behaviors mentioned above. All of this is, of course, harmful regardless the reason, and must be addressed. Often, we fail to understand the real reason for the behavior, and the vicious cycle begins, and the resentment sinks in. It may seem like an impossible situation, and it 100% can be corrected.
I know this because it is my story. I have experienced every one of the above, and I know that this is related to certain ways that I perceive and act in the world. It's also why I do what I do. I became a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in part because my own life came very close to completely falling apart, a number of times.
How things came to click in this area is a different story, but suffice to say I needed to change the narrative in a big way. I had to first understand, and then accept, accountability. I had to defuse the shame. I had to take steps to improve my own functioning in the world. I had to learn my strengths and to play to them. I had a lot of help and support, some professional, some personal.
Working with a professional can make all the difference. If you or someone you love struggles with ADHD, a mental health clinician can provide guidance and strategies to tune in more effectively. Reach out today, and begin the healing and growth to be your best self.
